Things You Can Say At The Dinner Table And During Sex.

A true gentleman knows there are certain topics which are prohibited at the dinner table.  Anything bathroom related is sure way to get yourself ejected from my dinner table.

But suppose we are in an alternative universe where there is no such thing as gentleman. 

What are the things that you can say at the dinner table and during sex?

This is the most crude you could get, but I wouldn't advice saying this  to your friend as a joke. 

"Tastes almost as good as your mothers."

You can guess what this means. 

 "Don't talk with your mouth full"

Words no man ever wants to hear unless they are the one saying them. 

" You finished already? That was fast!"

Simple and to the point. 

"F*ck me on this dinner table."

Anyone else hate dry chicken breast?

"Eh, it's a bit dry."

Can he?

"Hey, Jeffrey just texted, is it alright if he comes over and joins us?"

And you though it couldn't get more crude than the first one...

"I'm not eating this sh*t"

Have to keep the meat protected. 

"I need you to wrap that meat up before you put it in."

You knew this was going to be here somewhere.

"It smells like fish in here."

"Ma! I cant eat this, I'm allergic to yeast."

I  know what you are thinking, that's enough internet for the day, this is true.

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If you enjoyed this article check out Things You Can Say During Sex And At A Funeral.

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