Not The Onion

South African Farmers Are Failing To Provide Receipts For Their Land.

As elections due in 2019 approach, President Cyril Ramaphosa has intervened to accelerate land reform in order to “undo a grave historical injustice” against the black majority during colonialism and the apartheid era that ended in 1994.

White South Africans surprisingly own 72% of farms compared to “only four percent” in the hands of black people who make up four-fifths of the population, according to Ramaphosa.

It has been revealed by the South African government the poor white farmers who are being evacuated from their land seem to believe they are the rightful owners of the land. When they were asked for receipts for land they own, many are failing to provides deeds, contracts or anything. 

Some have even been showing government officials the guns that they ancestors used to take the land as proof of ownership, others seem to believe the ability to speak Afrikaans makes them exempt.

We also have guns now and speak English — said the government. 

The ANC did conceded and tell the farmers if they could name the chieftain that ruled over the land they owned they might be allowed to keep their land. 

This was met with confusion and murmurs of Shaka Zulu.

In other news, Donald Trump’s administration have stressed he didn’t know there was whites living in Africa because of this he will redact his ‘sh*thole’ comments when all white people return to America. 



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